THE VEGEMITE SHOGUNATE

4:02pm: Sayonara Japan!
Ladies and Gentlemen;

My time in the Land of the Rising Sun has sadly come to an end. I have spent the past few days relaxing and getting my bearings again in Hong Kong, where 'the pollution meets the sand'. Kind of like what I mean to do when I properly get home to Perth, just with less "World of Warcraft." The most exciting thing I've done since I got here was to going ice skating (and remembering just how bad I am at it)

The last few days in Japan were eventful. I got up early on March the 16th, considered whether I should run down to the local 7-11 to buy a copy of FFXII before going back to bed. When i got up an hour later, I quickly showered, shaved, packed my bags and drank some tea with Marissa before running to catch the Super Express from Fukushima to Tokyo. Alas I missed the train as well as screwed up one of the wheels of my suitcase on the escalator, so I had to wait fifteen minutes to catch the "Not Quiet So Super" Express to Tokyo (and all stops in between.) From there I caught a train down to Nagoya, finally arriving around 1:30

Unfortunately I had told my friend Tsuna that I would be there by 12:00, so by the time I got there she had been waiting for an hour and a half. She wasn't that angry with me (I think- she didn't throw anything particularly heavy in my direction). After leaving my bags at the youth hostel I was staying at, we went out into the suburbs in search of tree blossoms (the cherry blossom younger, less popular cousin). It was foggy, cold and raining on and off, but the tree blossoms were very impressive.

There is nothing more disturbing than trying to buy a Kit Kat whilst having a bunch of middle-aged Japanese women talk to you in rapid-Japanese broken by intermitent giggling.

We then headed back to downtown Nagoya, were we got some dinner and coffee. After that I decided that it was time to stop being a Pachinko n00b and give the Evangelion 2nd Impact game a go. Pachinko is like pinball on steroids- loud, smoke-filled parlours can be found in every city in Japan, filled with slack-faced individuals feeding small metal balls into a machine in hope of watching new anime footage or winning small UFO plushies. The only people I see possibly winning anything of merit at these places are the people who own these arcades (ie The Yakuza)

Final verdict of Evangelion: 2nd Impact: A lousy way to waste 1000 Yen. If I wanted to blow money to watch redone Eva footage, I would buy the Platnium DVDs.

Afterwards we went to an Australian-themed bar in Sakae called "The Red Rock." I had very low expectations for this place when I arrived- tacky Australian decorations, a whole bunch of Englishmen whose claims of being there involved the owning of one or more Kylie Minogue Cds and Australian wildlife presented in hamburger or steak portions. My eyes glided over the usual swill on the drinks menu that is passed off as beer amongst tourists, bogans and cyclone-ravaged Queenslanders and firmly set upon the holiest of words: "Red back." This was the first place I had seen my paradise drink sold outside of WA, let alone Australia. I didn't even bother looking at how many Yen a single bottle cost. All I did was look down at the T-Shirt I was wearing: "Redback Beer Original." It was meant to be. When the bartender came over to us and asked what we were having, I frantically pointed at my T-Shirt, my gestures explaining my desperate thirst.

Tsuna stuck to having a Smirnoff and Ice.

The next day saw me exploring the city on my own. I went to Nagoya castle, built by Iseyu Tokugawa to feed his rampant castle-building lust. If I ever go back in time, I'm going to give the guy a Lego kit or something. When they rebuilt it after WW2, they were at least far-sighted enough to put a lift in. The exhibits were quite interesting, including one in which people had to pull a large castle-foundation stone along while it measured how much pull you were exherting.

Later that night I went to Toyota to have dinner with Tsuna after she got off work. After a few places that had queues all the way out to the parking lot, we wound up at a sushi train bar. The sushi was very good, and the strawberries and cream deserts even better. I timed one of the more distinctive dishes as it made the rounds- 4 minutes and fifteen seconds to complete the loop around the bar.

We then headed back to Nagoya so that I could spend the night of St Paddies in the company of large, bouistorous gaijin over a pint of Guinness. Once again I would like to thank Tsuna for putting up with me and showing me around town even at her own inconvienence. I owe you big time ^_^

The next day I headed back to Tokyo on the Nozomi train. Before I got on the plane I managed to hunt down an Anna Millers resteraunt. The food was good but very expensive: I imagine there was a 10% service charge on top of the 25% cute-waitress charge. If Megatokyo was right about anything, there is no way in hell that the girls at Anna Millers have 'natural' endowments.

On a final note, after the three times I had caught the bullet train past it, but had been unable to see due to cloud and pollution, I finally managed to spy Mt Fuji in all its splendour. When you see the postcards and photos, you just don't realise how impressive the thing is from up close.

As it was my last day in Japan, I thought it was a fitting send off.

~Seph Khan
Kowloon Bay, Hong Kong

5:39pm: In which Seph gets more lost than ever
Dear noble readers (I am using the plural as I hope there is more than one of you);

I am alive and well in Fukushima (population 250,000), renowned for its snow rabbits and nuclear power plants. This is where Marissa has been sent to teach English, so I thought I would come up here and impinge on her hospitality for a few days. It has been a real blast, just like old times back in Perth. Or as I put it earlier this morning as we were having coffee, its like being back home, drinking coffee... in Winthrop.

It alternated between rain and snow on my last few days in Niseko, which made my skiing forays a bit more uncomfortable and colder than previous. The fact that I didn't fork out $500 on proper thermal, waterproof ski-wear also had something to do with it. As one guy said to me as I headed out of a restaurant onto the snowfields, "You're actually skiing in your jeans! Are you crazy?", to which I replied "Pretty much."

On my last night I spent nearly thirty minutes trying to explain to a guy who spoke no English that the seasons are reversed in the southern hemisphere. I was doing it in Japanese that was so broken that it could probably be called 'mangled.'

The next day I covered a lot of ground, catching the bus back to New Chitose airport, flying back to Tokyo and then catching the train up to Fukushima. Alas, the unbelievable happened- the Shinkansen was 15 minutes late! No doubt Rion's shinkan-tart was off servincing other tracks or something. I was really pissed of by this, so if the CEO of JR East is reading this (who knows?) I have a question for you- why haven't you done the honourable thing and killed yourself yet?

Marissa has done very well for herself. She is sharing an apartment that is surprisingly big with a French-Canadian girl called Marie (who is somewhere in the top five nicest people I have ever met). From the window you can see the Shinkansen tracks and snow-capped mountains in the distance. The river is a few minutes walk in the other direction. Parts of it have dried up, so when I was out walking today I saw a few kids playing baseball down on the gravel riverbed.

Yesterday we went to Sendai and looked around the mausoleum of Date Masamune, founder of Sendai and wearer of katana-hats. Later that night we went to a really cool Jazz bar called Vilevan. They had a special deal that gave English teachers working in the area 50% off on most of the drinks!

DRAMATIC REENACTMENT

Waiter: Did you know that English teachers get half price?
Marissa: Score! (*hands the waiter her business card. They then both turn to look at Blake*)
Blake: You can both fall in a well and die!

Even though I payed full price, it was still a good Black Russian.

After two hours we decided that we had had enough and caught the train home. Since we weren`t catching the Shink, the train back to Fukushima should have taken 80 minutes. Around an hour after the train left Sendai, we reached the last stop... at a place called Shiroishi. The station officer who gave us directions really screwed the pooch with that one. This was nearly around midnight and the station officer there told us we had "no chance" (good English!) of getting back to Fukushima that night. So we were wandering through the backstreets of a town that to the best of my knowledge isn`t even on the map, looking for a sign with the katakana for hotel in the middle of the night.

Then it started to snow. Before things got even worse, we found sanctuary at the Hotel Grand Pacific, to which I say, "Thank frigging Christ."

Tomorrow I will head to Nagoya. I only have three days left in Japan, I can't believe this adventure will soon come to an end. I've covered a fair portion of Hokkaido and Honshu. but there are still two islands left when I come back next time :-)

~Seph
Fukushima City, Fukushima-ken

Random Historical Fact: Date Masamune wore a katana strapped to his hat not as an emergency back up for his main sword, but so that he might better receive radio transmissions from his masters on Vega 4

10:11pm: I want a big lollie!
Greetings folks;

I am alive and well up in Niseko, although with all the skiing I have been doing today I am sure that I will be feeling very lousy tomorrow morning. After my first attempt at skiing met with disaster (by which I mean, going down the mountain side on my ass), I decided to take an actual skiing lesson today. I have now mastered the art of slowing down and stopping, at least on the gentler slopes. I'm pretty stroked by this, considering how bad things were last Wednesday.

Since my (*cough*) loyal (*cough*) friend Rion is no longer with me, I thought I would make a list of what he's missing right now.

WHAT RION WOULD LIKE ABOUT NISEKO:

Very little people, unlike the rest of Japan
Stunning views of nature. From the backpackers I'm staying at you can clearly see Yozeti-san, the mountain referred to as 'Hokkaido's Fuji'
Beautiful powder snow
Physical activities he is more suited to than I ever will be

WHAT RION WOULDN'T LIKE ABOUT NISEKO:

Welcome to Little Ballarat! This place is swarming with fellow Aussies. It's like the Gold Coast, only in reverse
There are no temples or shrines in the vicinity

Anyway, another thing I have learned while at Niseko is that it is acceptable to drink beer while bathing in a Onsen. This is something I wish I had learned a lot earlier in this trip :-)

Today I went to a Japanese pub/restaurant in Izukya in Kutchan. The food was good, the beer was cheap and the waitress kept on giving me free stuff. First tissues, then lollipops (hence the title!) then she took a photo of me to stick up on the customer board before undercharging me for my meal. I did the good thing by pointing this out and giving her the extra money anyway. As I was waiting for the bus a few blocks away, she chased me down to give me a print out of said photo. Now _that_ is what I call customer service!

I'll probably go back on Sunday :-)

This week's shout out goes to Tsuna, a girl who was staying at the hostel next door and was kind enough to keep me company over dinner. Have fun back in Nagoya!

-Seph
Niseko, Hokkaido
10/03/06 anno domini

8:52pm: Walking in a Winter Wonderland
Ladies and Gentlemen;

Over the past day I have come to the conclusion that snow is _cold_. Some might call my judgement hasty, but I say to them: What don't you understand? It`s frozen water falling from the sky!

The snow festival is over here in Sapporo, so it's low season up until the beer festival in July. At the moment there are only two residents at this hostel- myself and another guy, also formerly of Perth, Western Australia. Last night there was also a stoned English bloke who had just gotten back from the ski resort I will be heading to on Wednesday. We stayed up all night in the lounge, discussing how Japanese women could wear mini-skirts in the snow with out freezing to death. Also, we tried to figure out why Ben Cousins is such a prick (to no avail).

After a late start this morning (it was so cold outside and so warm in bed), I headed to downtown Sapporo to look at two noted tourist traps- the tower clock and the TV Tower. The TV Tower is a very scaled-down version of Tokyo Tower that is considered the centre of town- the street grid is based around it. The tower clock is a small little townhouse with (strangely enough) a clock on the top. Nothing impressive, but I remember that the Allied Invaders blew it to kingdom come in `Saikano.`

By this point I had already pulled out the gloves and the beanie- the weather that allows snow to exist being cold and all. Thankfully there wasn`t much windchill though. Anyway, I decided to check out the Ainu Association of Hokkaido museum. They had a small video in English and a few signs, but the bulk of the exhibits were explained in Japanese, so I had to make up my own facts and explanations. To be honest, mine are probably better than what the signs actually said :P

Onto the highlight of todays journey- the Sapporo Beer Museum and adjacent beer garden! It was a long journey, one that in retrospect should have been done by bus. All I got in way of a explanation of the exhibits was an English brochure, so it was back to make up my own facts again. They also had a number of ads from throughout the years, although there was a conspicuous absence of material from 1939 to 1945. The tasting hall needed no explanation though- three sample middies for 400 yen with some peanuts thrown in as well!

Afterwards I headed to the beer garden, where I had some jinguukan (grilled lamb) for dinner. I got to cook it myself on the table`s hot plate, which was an endeavor fraught with peril. Already feeling the ill effects of the previously sampled middies, I held off on the alcohol, even though they had god damn steins. Walking back to the train station was a lot harder in the dark. The quality of the snow on the footpath varied from compacted snow, slushy mire and ice. I only fell over a few times, something that was luckily not witnessed by others

Tomorrow I'm heading out into the countryside to look at some temples and hotsprings. Sorry about the lack of photos- my camera broke in Nikko, so all I have is the camera in my phone.

I miss Les already. Apparently, he was the only thing that held the ninjas at bay. Now that they're gone, I'm getting jumped once every half hour :P

-Seph Khan
Sapporo, Hokkaido

8:20pm: Sakura Room For the Win / Duty Free means stuff your bagaru
EPISODE 7

'The day of days. The one that had to come. The fellowship has broken with Seph continuing his journey north looking for the Yetifolk. While Rion heads south to more familiar lands, depending on if Japan Airlines can find the landmass that is Australia (no Tasmania does not count).'

I currently sit in the Sakura lounge of the Japan airlines terminal (the room reserved Qantas flunkies to keep us away from the rest of the population) typing on an ancient IBM notebook that would make the ones available at work look good. But at least there is access here for those without machines, a minor comfort when the place offers a buffet that consists of crackers and cheese. Unlimited coke however so they get a 7/10.

With an hour to boarding I sit here and reflect on the time I have spent in Japan. It was a good time, some things were much different than I expected but overall I think it was great as a whole. I will discuss the highs and lows in more detail later. But this trip has moistened the appitite for more, at this time I can definatly say a return visit is on the cards. But again my complete reflections and report will be available later. However the mood here is sombre, a joy for getting back to what left behind and a society that at least understand English. Sadness of course permiates as well for things left undone/unseen/unexperienced and of course the desire to explore more.

An explorer heh, just because the world has been discovered doesn't mean one can't be an explorer I think.

Anyway the shopping has been done, business concluded, gear stowed. All thats left is to board that thin skinned white beast which even pretty much a BB gun could pierce and set off decompression at higher altitudes. My sinues are much better today which is a blessing in itself but then I knew this would happen, most probably when Tuesday morning rolls around I'll be all better for the first day back at work. Being sick works in inverse for me, making me ill for free time but gets me better in time for work. I love my Japanese built immune system.

I would like to pass on my best wishes to Blake (Seph) and for a prosperous forward journey and that no injury or illness befalls him. I hope I was not too much of a burden on you with my thoughness in everything we did. I wish I continue you to go with you just so you have someone familiar watching your back but from what I've seen you'll do just fine on your own. To good times and good memories my freind.

Shogun Seph's words of the day: 'Maids, the 5th food group in Japan.'

5:49pm: Clearly in Yeti country now
Well I made it to Sapporo in one piece. From the plane I actually managed to see Mt Fuji through the haze of pollution, which made me pretty happy. The JAL flight to Sapporo was very short, so I kept myself amused by looking down on all the mountains and snow that we flew over. They had an official greeter on the plane whose job it was to go around and talk to everyone, as well as relay announcements that on other airlines would be said over the PA system by the Captain. Kind of strange, but after so many weeks in Japan I should have seen it coming.

Sapporo is cold, but nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. There is an abundance of snow, so I guess I didn`t come too late in the year to miss out on skiing and snowboarding injuries.

I`m now staying at a Backpackers Hostel called `Ino`s Place,` which is very nice- not what I was expecting at all. I`ve staked out my top bunk in the dorm and am ready to defend it life and limb from whoever might try and take it from me.

Apart from that, I had lunch, went to the supermarket and read some more of `Systems of the World.` I`m not really up for anything more exciting than that today, so hopefully when I blog tomorrow I will have some more interesting material

Peace out all

-Seph

5:18pm: The Germs are regrouping! / Dancefight
EPISODE 6

'Things have taken a turn for the worse. As the days change from winter to spring the effect causes Rion's all too human body to break into a halerukus malercus or to the common man a sinus attack. The dying days of the Japan adventure begin to grow darker as the condition sets in. But Rion intends not to go quietly, as if her ever could...'

Yes I have sucummbed to my 4 times a year ritual when the season changes. I had forgotten about it but it looks like I can't escape everything. Th throat began to get sore and the nose began to run. Currently I am some wreck of humanity cut off from my normal batch of treatments just trying to get through the days without having to sit in my hotel room. Which meant braving the cold and chills and fighting off any ill effects and of course bringing many, MANY tissues. I am sure Blake is quite tired of hearing me blow my nose and let me tell you so am I, especially because he doesn't have to have the aftereffects. Still gunky head and drippy nose, plus the headaches involved and of course lets not forget the nose aches from constant blowing. I also know its rude to blow your nose in public here but I've just stopped caring about that.   At least it happened at the end of the trip I guess but I am still quite annoyed that my exploring has been debilitated by a weakened condition.  However with the food deprivation and all my physical woes I continue to push myself to new hights of endurance, however njow I am coming down hard as it were.  I will need to rest appropriately in order to defeat my ailments but at least I have done as much as I can with what I could manage...


In case of Tusnami this crosswalk is 600m above sealeavel.  You may cross knowing no sharks will get you.  Ever.

Instead of going to Yokohama the following day we decided to goto Nikko instead.   For no general reason but just to throw you off the track.  Thats right, you.  Also being the place where Tokigawa Iayseu body is.  Who could pass up a chance like that I ask you?  Well it definately wasn't an easy place to get to.  To get to Nikko via Japan Railways you first have to take a Shinkansen (Not Hikari *sob*) for 50 mins then a regular train (especially not Hikari *double sob*) for 50mins before arriving at Nikko station.  However to make up for that is some excellent rural sites going past farms, small communities, forests and near mountains.  When reaching Nikko you will find the town is pretty much built around the main road and it goes upwards... a long way.   AFter about half an hour we reached the park and we found a few more interesting discoveries:

1. (In picture form!)


A freaken giant hill and MORE goddamn stairs!

2. SNOW!  Well it was more ice but it was snow.  I picked it up after careful study and throw it at Blake.  He told me to cut it out but I didn't (as if I would).  But the useable snow was few and far between, most ended up on the stairs.  

The forest the shrines were in was quite magnificent, of course I had never seen those strees before.  Straight and tall and then were at least 20 meters high and looked like pine.  The places was covered in them with canals either side of the gravel roads and ornate lamps everywhere.  The shrines themselves were also magnificent with their construction and size.  The were several shrines in the area and we visted them all including the place in where Isyeda Tokigawa (first shogun of Japan) was laid to rest.  The masuleum was an actual detour of the main shrine but while still much smaller the work of the area was by far no less impressive.  The sounds of the birds and the streams, the sights of the trees and mountains, the look of snow on the ground.  I only wish I could have smelled the air, it was all a glorious setting I felt.  But then thats why I came.  I could have spent all day exploring the area.  I wish I could have but we had arrived too late and the shrines were closing.  That was disappointing but I am glad I could experience it.


I tried scaling the wall to get in but someone had the foresight to include guards in the defense.

Random historial fact No. 55: Iseyuda Tokigawa invented gravity!  Issac Newton only mentioned it to be cool.

The following day we went to the national museum of Tokyo which housed a large variety of artifacts.  Some dating bay tens of thousands of years.   I would have to say the displays were impressive and a cultural treasure but I am not really a pottery fanatic so my interest was of course peaked at the swords and armour.  That is one thing I have been a little let down with in Japan.  Despite the noteriety of the military class there is little mention of them really, and little artifacts denoting them.  I was expecting more things about the Samurai to be shoved down my throat but the most would have been at Osaka castle and that was sparse.  We also went looking for another museum that apparantly showed Tokyo during the Tokyo period, it had closed down.  It then began to rain and this soiled our spirts and my sniuses acted up so we scuttled off home.

That night began the night I had planned to make up to Blake for the failings of the outings of Osaka.  He started drinking his medicine early.  We first hit an irish pub where he met two Japanese women who loved Australia to death.  Blake has already talked about this in great detail but I should just say that they we wrapt, honestly and truely on every word.  I tried to refrain from talking as my throat hurt but after 2 hours my voice was hoarse and we moved on.  Another pub later and that was it for me, I headed home.  On the way I decided to stop and get Blake some Maccas cause he was always hungry after drinking.  That was when I came across a girl walking her dog and this guy was pawing at her saying something lewd I would imagine.  Frankly this did not surprise me here but I stilled looked at him with my head tilted sideways a little.  The guys eyes met mine and he scuttled off.  The girl bowed and thanked me while I was struck dumbfounded.  I guess i had inadvertently done a good deed by an odd look.  Score 1 for Gaijin power.

Around 12:15 Blake stumbed in, and this is where it gets funny.  'On a scale of one to 10 I am so drunk you look cute Les' he said as he stumbled in the door.  The night progressed steadilly downhill from there.  But I have it on video its all coool people.  It will be great when I get back.

Today we visited the Meiji shrine which is also another large park with giant pine looking trees and superbly crafted buildings.  I am defiantly in love with these large parks because even in my weakened condition I wanted to explore every inch of the place.  We also had the fortune to see a traditional Japanese wedding taking place.  I have video and photos of that as well.  


Yes that is a Goth girl in the background.  Blake HAD to get her in the photo.  He even waited to do so.  What would Emperor Meiji think?

We got more books so Blake could read for the next leg of his trip.  I got more swag for the peoples back home and now I'm here typing these words.  Tomorrow is my last day here which is a mixed bag of releif and sadness.  I will have an ending speech prepared next time in my post-Japan report.  This will be ny last actually in Japan report most likely so I'll see you all when I get back to the country thats paid not to kill me.  Physically miserable yet spiritually and emotionally joyful in Japan

~Rion

Shogun Sephs saying of the day: 'Unless she says no three times in quick sucession without blinking she's just playing hard to get.'

4:59pm: Internet, how I have missed thee...
Greeting Ladies and Gentlemen

I am alive and well in Shinjuku, which is what Perth might look like in two to three hundred years time.



THERE IS A SMEAR ON THE LENS. RION BLAMES ME

The same can not be said of Les, however. He has caught the Osaka flu and is dragging out the process of dieing as long as possible, much to our mutual annoyance. Its a shame, because tomorrow we will have to break our little fellowship. He will be heading back to Brisbane while I will be heading north to Hokkaido, an icy wilderness where I will frolic in the snow with the Yeti folk (or so I have been led to believe)

It has been an interesting few days out and about in Tokyo. We went to Nikko on Friday, a small tourist trap up in the mountains. If it wasn`t for the Toshugo shrine, I would have been tempted to believe I was in some part of Switzerland. I`m sure Les will be speaking more about it, so I`ll leave this subject to him. A lousy thing happened in Nikko though- my camera has kicked the bucket! I`m going to try and get it replaced under warranty when I get home, but thats not going to be for a while. So I`m not going to have any pictures of the snowfields :-(  Yesterday we went to the Tokyo National Museum, which was something I greatly enjoyed. They had numerous archaeological exhibits from the Jomon period up to the 1950`s, as well as artifacts from as far afield as Egypt and Germany. They even had a real, honest to god 3000 year old Mummy!

It was around this time that I met Hiro, one of the most interesting people I`ve met so far in Japan.　I was minding my own business when he sat down next to me outside of Ueno station and just started talking. His English was fluent if not quite accurate, and he was very outspoken about how Japanese people need to communicate better with themselves as well as with foreigners like us. A good bloke all round. He even gave Rion something for his sinuses!

That night was a bit of a blur, copious alcohol and all. I do remember singing the Vegemite jingle on request, something even I was surprised I knew. All the ads I watched as a child have firmly brainwashed me. Anyway, this whole episode was brought on by Yoko, a young Japanese lady and Aussieophile who knew more ocker slang than I did. I was ordering something at the bar and she identified the accent straight away. We had quite a long conversation about things ranging from Freo prison, why people from Adelaide are naturally weird and if there are any understandable rules to cricket. According to her friend she had been having a bit of a down week, and meeting two Aussie blokes like Rion and myself really cheered her up. So we have done some good in this country after all!

Apparently on the way home Rion saved a girl from a drunk molester just by glaring at him. I was still in the bar at this time, so I`m kicking myself for having missed it. The last place I went to I wound up discussing the War in Iraq with two drunk Americans, formerly of the USS Kittyhawk. Because of my love of playing the Devil`s Advocate, in this situation I was the guy who had to be pro-Bush. Who would have thought?

Finally, a shout out to Marissa, who`s finally made it to the land of the rising sun!



I HAVE BEEN IN THIS COUNTRY WAY TOO LONG

~Seph

Random Historical fact: Emperor Meiji is displeased by many things. You, for starters....

6:17pm: Japanese Medical Soapies are even more lousy than Australian ones
Ladies and gentlemen;

As I type I am back in the same old internet cafe in Roppongi, Tokyo. The past few days have been a bit of a whirlwind, but things should settle down now that I'm back in Tokyo for several days. For starters, I'm really looking forward to getting some extra sleep in the morning!

Anyway, on Monday we got up early and packed our suitcases for Hiroshima. The Shinkansen took one and a half hours to get there, of which I spent most just listening to my iPod. The weather was sunny if a little brisk, probably the best day we've had so far on this trip. After the usual hassle of finding the hotel once we got off the street tram, we dumped our bags at the hotel (Very good value- we got breakfast and our room had a great view of the river. Off course, I told Rion he could have the window bed _before_ I looked outside).

Once we had settled in, we headed over to the A Bomb Dome at the Peace Memorial park. The building managed to survive the blast in part because the bomb detonated a few hundred metres above it. The physics escape me, but some of the building is still there to this day (Even thought it is currently being renovated to make sure it lasts for a few more years)






06/08/45. 600 METRES UP, 100 METRES SOUTHEAST....

We also saw the Children's Peace Memorial, dedicated to the girl who tried to fold 1000 cranes as she died of Leukemia. People from around the world have folded cranes and brought them here, of which  _a lot_ more than 1000 adorn the memorial. I had to read about her back in Primary School, although i only remembered about it a few days ago.  It was pretty goddamn sad...



1001, 1002, 1003....

Anyway, along the way we ran into two fellow Aussies (which makes them automatically awesome, even if they already are) who we saw catching the Shinkansen from Shin Osaka. We looked around the rest of the park together before stocking up on lollies and sushi at a nearby 7-11. Later that evening we all went out to dinner at a Italian restaurant called 'Cafe Tomato Junior.' It was okay, but the food was so small that I had to go out for a Mos Burger run right afterwards to feed my hunger. After that we headed to a cowboy bar (in Japan!), followed by an Irish themed one (in Japan! There's only so much Japanese a man can take, peoples!) before calling it an evening.



AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! WHAT COMES NEXT?

That night I dreamt about radioactive poisoning, toxic waste, zombies and Harry Potter. I'm afraid I can't explain the last one :P

The following day saw us go to a onsen resort called Fushiokaku, somewhere on the outskirts of Osaka. We managed to get the right train and get off at the right station, but from there the map got... deceptive. On the map, the hotsprings looked to be five blocks away from the station. 

It turned out to be four kilometres.

After 1 km, Rion's arms had cacked it from carrying around his unwieldy suitcase. I told him to take a rest, listen to some MP3 while I went on ahead to look for the place. The further and further I went, the more agitated and stubborn I got as this elusive hotspring got further and further away. I asked for directions numerous times, and the people I asked kept on pointing me in the right direction. Unfortunately, my Japanese wasn't good enough to ask them how far it was, nor to understand the answer if they had told me.

Anyway, I finally got there nearly an hour after I left Rion to his own devices. I booked a mini bus back at the train station (something I would have done months ago if I had realised how far it would have been) and began to run back to where I had left him. When I got back half an hour later (a lot faster as i was running and knew where I was going), Rion was still waiting. 

He was not amused.

We headed back to the station and then got the bus to the onsen, and from there things improved dramatically. We lounged around, drank green tea, had a bath, had more green tea and then a traditional Japanese dinner (So traditional that they had to get a translator in just to read the kanji on the menu for us :P), followed by more lounging around and then another bath. I've never been so clean in my life!

This morning we had a full-on banquet for breakfast (Miso, rice, beef in a hotpot with soba and tofu, potato salad, green tea and so many other things i don't even know the name off). Anywho, we checked out and headed back to osaka, and from there to Tokyo. We're now staying in a nice part of town called Meguro. Tomorrow we might head to Yokohama before our JR Pass expires, only time will tell

Peace out all!

~Seph Khan
Roppongi, Tokyo
Shogun Seph's Saying of the day: "A life of a cowboy is a lonely one, punctuated by brief, violent acts of sodomy"

6:11pm: Still waters run deep / Splish spash I was taking a bath

EPISODE 5

'After escaping with his sobriety intact Rion journeys to the ravaged land of Hiroshima to find another 2 companions on his journey.  After Blake gets them drunk he finds his work done and the move back into the frigid mountains where they found a hot springs resort.  The following is a tale of sincerity mixed with more bare skin than one will ever need to see in a lifetime.'

The ride on the shinkansen was again smooth and enjoyable.  I'm not sure I can really go back to the ineffecient, ineffective QR cityrail abominations they call a rail system.  Blake had decided to knumb the looming depression he felt was coming by starting on whyat he liked to call 'his medicine'.


Blake: Ladies and gentlemen I believe its time for my medicine

It was a strangely clear day.  The clearest that we had seen since arriving in Japan I feel.  Horishma I feel was not much different than any other I have been in since landing here.  Although the tallest buildings are at most 8 stories high and the streets have the bastard child of a Shinkansen and a  city bus winding through them.  No its not really that bad, the streetcars were numerous and effecient although city traffic did impede them a fair bit.  Reminded me of Melbourne a little.

Speaking of Melbourne while exploring the peace park we met up with 2 girls from that particular city.  I'm sure Blake will go into the details over that as I was off most of the time taking photos, looking at sites and being generally introspective.  I will say that they had been quite surprised to find 2 other westerners and Australians at that, they tought it was magic while we had never found the novelty of being foriegn in our travels, or different.  So I guess it wasn't so bad.

*Introspection alert*

Hiroshima itself is a beacon to the resiliance of man I feel.  As I walked through the grounds looking at one elegant monument after the next, all with messages of peace around them I felt the heavy air of living history around me.  I had felt this in many other places in Japan but this one seemed more alive, more real.  As it had only happened a mere 50 years ago.  Through the other sites in Japan I tried to imagine what it must have been like, it was diifficult but I could do it.  However in Hiroshima I had seen many videos and pictures my mind was alive what that fateful day must have looked like, watching as the city was torn apart in one massive blast.  Blake has pointed out that other Japanese cities suffered much worse but then a good deal of the city had been wiped out in one almighty sweep.  It is a testment to the destructive power of science and a warning about those who would misuse such gifts bestowed by it.  That is the message I was feeling when I looked at all the sites through the grounds, read all the testimonals and records.  Saw all the pictures.  What happened at Hiroshima should not be forgotten.  Hirsohima itself was a tragedy but it is the hallmark of something much, much greater than the explosion itself and the lives it took.  I have been a great believer in the power of science and the benefits it brings to mankind but then I shudder at the capacity of those who weild science, I know in my own heart I have entertained ideas that would compare.  We all have but then we are considered the more sane/level headed of our species in comparison to those who have relative control over the sciences.  But like the creations of science it it is neither intentionally evil or good but how we use it.  Even a gun can be a tool of good if employed correctly.  However nuclear weapons are more of a grey area unless there are any giant asteriods out there.  Like it or not science is here to stay and I for one welcome it but I will always be wary of its application as should everyone who exists in this world.  The price should never be forgotten either...

*End introspection*

I actually felt I didn't spend enough time absorbing the air in the city but it was time to move on.  Back to Osaka and onto Ikeda a small rural community where opur bath resort laid.  It turns out the map we were using was drawn not very to scale and what looked like a fair walk turned out to be a long hike.  I was left under a bridge somewhere along the way as Blake pushed on as my ill designed suitcase was a bastard to carry.  I sat there for about 1 1/2hrs freezing in the chill waiting for Blake to return.  I thought he had been kidnapped by some Yakuza to serve on their canning ships in the Pacific but I was wrong.  Turns out we had another 3km to cover on foot, so we returned to the station groaning and waited for a minibus pickup.  It had not been that far but when we reached the resort that malice and frustration melted away brisky once examining the place.  The room itself was fgar larger than we were accustomed with many tatami mats, futons, sliding doors and even a women who served us tea and brought more.  I am not much one for tea but it felt good after such a  cold day.  I even had a go serving it myself at one point.


The trick is pouring the water into the pot!

What was even better was the onsen itself.  More than a dozen showers and a very large warm bath area that could probably accomodate 40 people easilly.  Then outside was another smaller bath for maybe 15 under a small pagoda with a view os a small river and waterfall plus a well kept garden of trees and flowers.  Also there was a smaller bath still with room for 3 to lie down almost like a personal bath in which you could look out over the mountains.  It was a paradise indeed.  About the only things missing was a light snow and a cold drink but 99% out of 100 isn't bad.  I spent hours in the baths over 3 seperate occasions.  Generally by myself and most didn't seem to want to brave the outdoors which was just fine with me.  It allowed me to do much thinking and even get in some meditation when there wasn't too much giggling from the womens side of the screens.  In the end the muscles and the brain had reached an equal state of relaxation.  I suppose I'll be able to face another year at work after that.  I would like a few more onsen resorts in Australia thou...

Dining was as equally interesting as they had a tradtional Japanese dining area with seperate booths, raised floors and tatami mats.  We decided to brave the kanji menu but the resturanteers noticing our floundering kindly sent an interpreter who assisted us.  Eventually after around 30 minutes we had our meals which so many pieces of things we couldn't identify.  I took the brave path and tried everything for flavour and reported it to Blake who was trying to go with what he knew.  It really wasn't that bad I thought but we ended up eating some more udon and soba later to fill the large holes in our stomachs (as we had not eaten lunch that day).  Following another bath sleep was easy and long I thought at least.  We woke the next morning and headed down to the baths again (moderation is for chumps) and we stayed in there too long again as the provided breakfast stopped at 9am they said.  We arrived at 8:50 expecting something long the lines of some riceballs and bread but what we got as another traditional Japanese meal with many pieces and a lovely stew to pick from.  It was the most elegant, lavish and ultimately filling breakfast I think I've had in a long time and this comes from someone who travels frequently.  I was quite happy with everything as we had bathed, slept and died in tradtional fashion for one whole day which was definately something I wished to accomplish.  Also that morning at breakfast we were referred to as Gaigin but a Japanese man in a distainful tone.  JOY!  I think I can cross off pretty much everything on my Japan list now, we almost cried "Thankyou sir".  Regrettably however we packed our belongings afterwards and got on the bus back to the station for the Shinkansen back to Tokyo for the last leg of our (mine) journey.

Tearfully waving goodbye to Hikari we made our way to the hotel with some kind directions by a Japanese woman we noticed that near our hotel in Meguro we wer ein food central with doizens of food stores both western and Japanese.  I spotted a MosBurger which Blake we bananas over.  All checked in we decided to explore looking for the Anna Millers described in Megatokyo (see wikipedia reference: Comic that started out great but got more and more unfunny).  Not finding it we found some other interesting things however...


Thats right the car had a club locking it while Blake could have picked up the damn thing and ran.

So here we sit now in the net cafe in Roppongi.  Tomorrow we travel to Yokohama to visit its sparking clean whale free seas.  What else might we find there?  Adventure?  Excitement?  A trouser press?  I'll fill you in tomorrow if I survive the night.

Until then I leave you with the image of the Great Golden Samurai Rion-sama charging into battle on his mighty steed Kenshin (Seph insisted on showing this particular picture and who am I to blame him, it is aweome, to the max apparantly).


I am well aware the horse is dead and full of stuffing but I didn't care at the time

Shogun Seph's words of the day: 'If there was a way to be any more naked the Japanese above all others would surely have found it'

~Rion

9:55pm: I love Japanese Engineering / On the 5th day look to the East
EPISODE 4

'From the ruins of old Japan springs for a new hero. One with great power and strength. One with great goldness. One iwth a 10 minute transformation sequence. Who is this armoured dynamo? Who the hell really cares? Anyway for your viewing pleasure comes Great Golden Samurai Rion-sama!'

The say here in Osaka has been... different.  I guess I am too used to Kyoto now and its multitudes of culture.  Here in Osaka I have seen little odl the culture I have come to love and appreciate.  On the flip side this is Blake's element so I suppose it is only fair.  However one good thing about Osaka is that either way there is a lovely city to be explored like Himeji or Kyoto.  So I think it is in a relatively good place then really even if the city dosent agree with me.  Of course I haven't seen all of it so I am working on limited experiences so I'm not going to say Osaka is bad, just what I have seen seems to be... for me at least.

I am sure you have all been breifed on the bar scene by Blake at this point.  I must say I am also a little surprised at the turnouts myself I had assumed the places would be jumping but I was proved wrong.  Another one of my assumptions about Japan has gone down the gurgler at this point.  The list is still being amended into Leslies Big Book of War... I mean myths about being a foreigner in Japan.  Sam and Dave has made my list, you know the list about not going back to... you all thought I was going to say revenge didn't you?  Well you'd be wrong.

Again we've been doing a lot of walking around.  We have seen Osaka Castle. I have seen Seph poking his head through a cardboard cutout.  At least he looked through the male ones and not the kimono clad one...


My head goes in here!

I have talked previously about Osaka castle.  But I will reiterate it has some lovely grounds like all the castles and the history in it was nice but I didn't really come to see an inside of concrete and steel really.  The exterior however was wonderful.  I would have also liked to attend the Kendo school in the dojo just down from the castle.  Castle dojo yes...  We also visited the peace museum there which had some though prevoking exhibits on the raveages of war.  It is good that they focused on the atrocities that the Japanese inflicted on others during that period instead of glossing over them.  Although I think they could have done a little more, but it was interesting to see the cost of the war for Japan which was a high one indeed as I continue to witness.

Eating in Osaka has been bountiful, where in Kyoto we would come across an eatery every few shops.  In Osaka every few eatiers we might see a shop.  Although there is a giant strip mall there with giant mechanical crabs held up above the shoppers heads.  I always knew the Japanese would create some sort of commercially available mechanical horror in which to enslave us.  I just didn't know it would be available in crab form.  I was thinking ant.  However I digress the eating has been been plenty and delicious which does give it the appropriate title 'The World's Kitchen'.


I can taste the Rameny goodness.  <Note: Its loaded with Wasabi>

I also heard the siren call of the 'Cruel Angel's Thesis' (main title song from Evangelion - see Wikipedia reference "EVANGELION BEST ANIME EVER!") pumping from a Pachinko parlour.  Despite Blake's warnings I entered to be deafened by the sound of the music and also of the smashing og ball bearings.  It was a madness I have only seen replicated by Australian pokies in RSL's.  However I did emerge with both my thumbs intact.  We also found the Umeda Sky building which has its own artifically generated clouds.  Another feat of Japanese engineering I found oh so sexy (I thought they only had stuff like that in Macross).  ALthough speaking of sexy Japanese enginnering I have had the previlage so far of riding in the Hikari RailStar shinkansen or bullet train several times.  When she thundered by it almost knocked me off my feet andshe was only going maybe 150-200km/h.  On our last trip I sort of got caught up in the emotion of it all and well Seph had a camera.  She's so sleek, so streamlined, so fast and energetic.  She is a machine and when they built her they broke the mould (after mass production).  If it wasn't against God's and/or the Japanese Rail Authoritys law I'd marry her...

 
Was it good for you Hikari-chan?  You ride so smooth...

*Coughs* Anyway today we went to Hejimi where we had the privelage of seeing the most well preserved and photographic castle in Japan, THAT HADN'T BEEN BURNED DOWN!  Thats right, nobody has taken a torch to this thing.  I could not believe it!  It was a fairly young castle to the others we've seen but it still had a lot of history about it and it was easilyl the most accessable as we got to go in the towers and the walls and all the way up into the keep which has not been altered in any way.  So for me this was a dream and I have a million photographs to prove it.  It had some very interesting sections like the suicide hall (though they aren't sure why its called that), the princess tower and of course a haunted well (Blake LOVED that part).  Additionally Blake was convinced the vengeful spirit of Princess Sen was upon me and I almost injured myself on 7 seperate occasions from slipping to head bashings on low supports.  It seems like being blessed by 3 seperate Buddist Monks has not helped me much or the blessing I received at Toji temple.  But I'm okay now... I think...

However the real topper for the day was when we went to the museum of history there and I was chosen (by kind grace of Blake) to don the armour of a samurai warrior!  Being a Kendoka I am no stranger to donning armnour of course this was far move complex and I had 2 squires assist me in this feat.  The fact they spoke no English also marked the monumental effort they did for me in this endeavour.  After 10 minutes of doing up straps and attaching plates I was ready to show to take on the world as Golden Samurai Rion-sama!

 
I fight for honour and civilisation!  I also fight for the right to pose in front of a multitude of cameras for the asument of others!

I would have liked to make a trek to a temple far up in the mountains but the day grew late and my samurai antics had soaked up much of that.  We did however visit the old samurai residences in the area which had been convereted into a teagarden.  Which brings me to another point about Japan.  The country looks beautiful in every season, from the greens and blooms of spring and summer to the result of leaves and snow of autumn and winter.  At the moment we are on the dying days of winter and yet the garden was amazing, I am sure even more beautiful in a light snow or in full bloom but still beautiful.  The large areas of rivers and waterfalls made for a lovely place to gather ones thoughts or concentrate on complete serenity.  It was a good end to a day.  A place I would dearly like to revisit and spend more time there.  There are no places I know of like this in Australia and it does make me rather sad to think that.  So I had best make use of the time I have.

Well we're onto Hiroshima tomorrow to again wistness the ravages of war.  But also the rebirth of human spirt in adversity.  I am hoping for it to be rewarding as my other trips thus far.  Until next time then.

Shogun Sephs words of the day: 'If Rion was addicted to cocain as much as he is to photography he'd have nostrils the size of a racehorse'

9:34pm: Osaka dreaming
Ladies and Gents back in the West;

I'm currently in an internet cafe somewhere in Shinsaibashi, the clubbing district of Osaka. It is said that you could spend your entire life visiting all the shrines in Kyoto and never manage to visit  them all. The same could be said for the vast quantities of bars stacked atop each other in Shinsaibashi. It should not surprise anyone that when I was planning to move to Japan to work, Osaka was my number one choice. It is said that the people in Osaka party harder than anyone else in Japan. After the past few nights out on the town, I choose to disagree. But more on that later!



WASN'T THIS IN BLADE RUNNER?

Rion and I took the Shinkasen from Kyoto to Osaka three days ago. From the train window the two cities merge into each other- there wasn't any separating countryside or mountains between them. It took only a few minutes to get here- I barely had time to put away my suitcase and sit down before we pulled into Shin-Osaka. I was in a bad mood at the time as some old lady bumped into me at the station knocking my precious coffee out of my hands and spilling it all over the floor (and myself). She didn't even stop to apologise, so I wish a pox upon both her houses.

Osaka comes across as ugly and crass at first (at least, certainly by day). The streets are narrow, it is very easy to get lost and half the girls have big, boofy hair like Peggy from  "Married with Children" or Effie from "Acropolis Now." Rion positively hates it and wants to get back to Kyoto, with its endless shrines and temples that blur into each other. I feel more at home though. Once the sun sets and the neon lights up, its like walking around in the future. And in the future, everyone is drinking!

The first night we went out, we wound up at a shot bar called "The Liquid Bar Kyu." It works a lot differently to the places I've been to back home. Instead of buying drinks, you buy a number of tokens that can be exchanged for drinks. Rather than having a bar tender serve everyone at the bar, each group of people got their individual bar chick to serve up the booze as well as make polite conversation. I was worried that we had in fact stumbled into a hostess bar, but luckily it was nothing as seedy. By the end we had struck up a friendship with a salaryman who Rion inisisted on calling "Toza." His English was pretty good considering how drunk he was, and he shouted us a few rounds of whiskey (which I hope not to be drinking anytime again- I was pretty hungover the next morning. The pitcher of suntory malt I had had beforehand didn't help either...). The next night we went to a R and B place called "Sam and Daves." It cost us a small fortune to get inside, and we were extremely disappointed to find the place near deserted. It would have been a great place if there had been a few more people there- the venue was good and the DJ managed to play all the R and B songs I don't really hate. Rion left just before a few stragglers showed up at around 11:00, and I soon followed. Overall, I was very disappointed. 

Today we went to Himeji, a small town outside Kobe. It is renowned for its castle, Himeji-jo, one of the few in Japan that hasn't burnt down over the centuries. We had a good time exploring both the castle, the tea gardens as well as the Prefecture museum of history. Rion got dressed up as a Samurai (which I'm sure he'll be talking about in quite a lot of detail) and I took 50 or so pictures, of which only 15 turned out good (complaints, complaints)



IT HASN'T BEEN BURNED TO THE GROUND. YET...

Rion's love obsession with the Shinkasen is starting to worry me... Were it not against the law of God and the Japanese Rail Authority, he would hijack a Hikari train, ship it out to international waters and then marry it in a Scientology-blessed ceremony. 

I had my first bangers and mash in weeks tonight. Nowhere near as good as the stuff that Mum or the Elizabethian makes, but I was so desperate I would have kissed any food product vaguely potato based. Apart from that, it has been a steady diet of ramen, udon noodles and rice, as you will see below



OKAY, I CAN'T EAT WITH CHOPSTICKS. OR KNIVES. OR FORKS. BARELY WITH A SPOON...

Tomorrow Hiroshima. Something tells me this is going to be depressing....

~Seph Khan
Shinsaibashi, Osaka

Random Historical fact: Princess Sen Honda (1601-1665) of Himeji was quite paranoid that one day in the far future, a husky, red-haired man from Australia would look through her room and others in the  women's quarters of Himeji-jo. That is why she placed numerous traps and pitfalls so as to impede his progress and cause him much grief...

8:55pm: Osaka Heaches Awesome Powaa / In my mind I find peace of mind
EPISODE 3

'Les struggles with his suitcase through crowded Shinsaibashi streets rueing both its flawed and awful design, and also rueing the scourge of Promethius for destroying the very things he has come to see. Blake gets drunk for obvious reasons.'

Greetings once more all. This time my communiucation comes from the kitchen of the world (apparantly) Osaka. It was just a quick hop from Kyoto by Shinkansen, one stop to be accurate which was surprising after we looked at the distance on the map. But then Hikari has been good to us thus far.

I will miss Kyoto with its multitude of culture and ancient buildings, many of which I never got to explore. Blake on the otherhand was overdosing from shrines. I will definatly make it a priority on my list of places to go to if I get the chance to come back. Since I have been in Kyoto my brain has generally been in a relaxed state absorbing everything around me. Reaching some sort of Serenity, it could be that I'm just on vacation but when even on vacation I usually bring the troubles of the world with me. So I don't think its that. So right now I'm going to do one of the things I thought I would never do on a blog and thats post my feelings (God help as all and spare me flames):

Also I have found a definate something in the air in Kyoto which I would associate with national identity. The Japanese world is far older than any world I am part of and I think is some of the reasons for why they are who they are. In Australia we 'pride' ourselves on our multiculturalism but we don't have a culture to draw back on per say really. Sure we're a country that is 200 years old but then Japan is well in excess of 2000. We are a mix of many cultures while we struggle to become one or 'Australian' as the case may be. And we all have problems doing it. Here it is not the case even if you go past the obvious such as homogenisation, there is a profound sense of purposefulness and working towards something greater. I'm sure you would find that in all the countries of the 'old world' as they have an ancient legacy to build upon. While with us countries of the new world we have no foundation so we absorb other counbtries mannerism and call them our own. Sure we have developed an ideal of what is 'Australian' but is it an ideal any of us can live up to? I think we all need to have a good hard look inside ourselves about this, if we were conetent to call ourselves Australian why are we romantisicing other cultures and adopting them. Its as minute as an anime fan saying 'hai' instead of yes or as extreme as a man joining the Taliban.

This could be a process of patience I'm not sure but it has got me thinking...

I'm done now.

Also one of the other things I will miss about Kyoto is the SDF (Self Defense Force) mascot we have come to affectionaly know as 'Lieutenant McScruff' saluting him on a daily basis was a good start to the morning.  A side note about Lieutenant McScruff, he worked in the 60's and 70's for the USSR but he jumped ship when a bear (Name withheld) came onboard.  


Lt McScruff wants you!  Strong army, strong nation!  We salute you Lt McScruff!

We vistited Osaka castle yesterday as well. I wish I could have stayed there a little longer as it was a very large place (no surprise) and there was a wealth of history about the place as well as being one of the key sites in the Tokigawa rise to power in Japan. Ah Tokigawa your ambition knows no bounds. But again it was burned down by both war and lightning. Fortunatly it was spared the US AirForce, but still again fire has robbed me of seeing something in its previously glory. They said Promethius was a freind to man, but right now he's starting to be the bane of my bloody existance here.

We went out drinking last night and had a small adventure and made some new freinds. I am sure Blake would like to fill you in on the events of the evening and of course Tozza. He was cool.

Shogun Seph's words of the day: 'bear bukkake is like applying your own vinegreete to your main meal'

7:29pm: I`m weak
Folks;

Despite the cold weather, complete difference in language and occasional bouts of homesickness, I am having a fun time in Japan. However, I am starting to really, really miss Western food. The other day I stumbled across a place called Mos Burger, and I went bit.... crazy 



TWO CHEESEBURGERS IN, SO MANY MORE TO GO...

Right now I`m in Osaka, which is a hop, skip and a jump away from Kyoto (literally- it took 15 minutes maximum to get here). We saw Osaka castle today and are going out for a few drinks tonight, but apart from that  we`re exhausted

Hope everyone is doing well!

-Seph Khan
Shinsaibashi, Osaka
24/02/06

Random Historical Fact: The five story pagoda in Nijo castle, Kyoto was, like many other priceless historical artifacts, believed to have been burned to the ground by the US Air force. As this happened in 1730, historians believe it was Benjamin Franklin flying in his lightning powered, man sized kite who was to blame

Hundreds were killed in this act of aerial banditry



SEPH AND RION ON SITE AT THE RUINS

10:08pm: The legend of Kyoto begins to spread and fester / We're gonna need more ointment
EPISODE 2

'Now in the land of Imperialsim the two Gaigin find their way to the home of the biggest Buddah of the land... and Seph breaks down and eats at Mosburger'

Thankyou all for the kind instruction on how to switch between engrish (yes, I meant that) and kanji (or katakana as the experts might lead you to believe). Turns out I found how to switch it all back several minutes after I made the post.

So right now I am sitting in an internet cafe in Nara the birthplace of Imperialism. Now I must retell how we go to the is position in the firstplace...

The second or last day in Tokyo for this time around started well enough. Blake was able to find out how to wear his Yukata from an eldery man in the onsen (or thats how he'd like me to think). I think he was able to do a well enough job as these pictures point out:

 
Ah Shogun Seph!  Ah Damiyo Rion!  To who does victory of the Yukata go?  We must Kung Fu fight!

We decided to wake up early and hit the onsen and it was something worth waking up early to do.  Despite the biting cold as we crossed from one building to another.  Then began the obligatory H scene as the bathing began.  Fortunatly there was a lot of steam and neither of us can really see all that good without glasses (take that which ever way you like because I would do the same).  The facilities were quite impressive and if you had a fear of male nudity it should be abolished by the time you're towling yourself off.  Except Blake but he's not your typical case of humanity.

We took the Shinkansen (bullet train) to Kyoto later that day.  I've been on the tilt train numerous times and that thing has NOTHING on beloved Hikari (the name of the train, I trust Japanese engineering with a cute name with my life and soul).  We were frequently hovering between 250 - 300km/h. Once leaving the city limits I saw another side of Japan I hadn't experienced. The rural communities.  Even then we were quickly passing by towns that by Japanese standards were very small yet to us quite large. Everywhere I looked were rice fields and electrical towers. As well as more traditional Japanese housing.  I also noted the vastness of their industries. What we normally see is a section of a city with warehouses and factories.  Here it is EVERYWHERE. Every 15 seconds I was passing by a refridgerator factory or some giant distribution centre with kilometers of heavy duty copper cabling powering it all. Then we passed the mountains and saw snow, it was a thrilling sight, we were expecting snowball fights in Koyto but this was not to be.  Still seeing it was joy enough.  I guess we won't be throwing snowballs at Japanese businessmen... just yet

When we arrived it was raining, not heavilly but constantly. It was not a thrilling reception we had imagined.　Even the giant astroboy at the station did little to lift the spirits much. It was raining and it was COLD. It should have been snowing I felt and POOR Blake who didn't have gloves felt all the worse. We checked into our Ryokan after walking 5 or so block in the rain and took stock of our surroundsings. We later learned that we were staying in the tinest room but that didn't really matter as cramped spaces was another japanese experience I wished to take part in. That day we had our first taste of real ramen and it was good.　　Now all the stories I right about it will be based on good experiences. We will most probably eat more every soon. We did some shopping and everything was still good. Then things took a turn for the worse... 


Blake is reading up on some place, some place called Japan.  Also note the room is THAT big.

We learned of a little resturant called Asuka's. Naturally we had to go there. Hopping 2 trains to the district we spent around 1 and a half hours searching for this place. Up the street, nope gone too far, back down the street, too far again, lets try around the block...nope. Blake almost fell in the river which would have made him feel even more miserable as the guilt, hunger, fatigue, even MORE bitter cold and the taste of failure set in. It was not a good night. I was consoled by the fact we had looked at some grand old buildings but I was also quite cranky as well. Finally we gave up and went back to Ryokan. Everything was closing for the night so we settled for McDonalds (we're only barely human!) and everything in the world was right again. We crawled onto our futons and the world grew dark...

The next day the rain had stopped and the thrill of adventure set in once more.  We hopped a train to see the Koyoto museum and that was a complete bust as there were no exhibits on the first floor and we had no desire to pay an absorbant price to look at things we probably wouldn't understand. Disappointed we left and decided to make our way to Nijo castle. This is where my comments of Japan being crowded stop. The place was enormous, full of ponds, garedens, gates and other structures. We went inside the Shogun's day villa (not called that but thats what it essentially was). That was an experience seeing all the old architecture and the elaborate sliding doors with their paintings. Oh and everything was gold preety much, fixtures, fittings, even the paint on some things. The place also had a nightingale floor but it was so old I think I could have got around it. We then moved onto the Imperial Palace where we probably could have fit 3-4 castles. Inside the Palace grounds were 3 Palaces, unfortunatly the Emperor didn't want us inside so the Policemen didn't let us pass. We could have tried to get an invitation but I doubt we'd get one, I heard that emperors don't like self proclaimed Shoguns much.  We were thinking pogo sticks at one point...

We made the long trek back to the Ryokan after stopping to grab a bite to eat at a local resturant.  Excellent fried chicken and we decided to have sake. Here's where it gets good.; Blake REFUSED to drink his so I won by default. The two sweetest word in the English language. By the end of the meal Rion 2, Seph 0. It was horrible but I did it. I had 300ml of sake in me and feeling fine except for the issue with walking vertically, victory that night was mine. We settled in at our accomodation with a nice shower and bath. Although apparantly Blake couldn't be nerted waiting for it to fill. Personally it was another one of the highlights of the day despite having to sit there for a good 20mins. Obviously water isn't such a commodity over here... Again we donned the Yukatas and settled in for the night.

Today we decided to try for Nara which was the first Japanese capital and second to Kyoto for amount of shrineage. After Blake had some issues with the clothes washer we left. After a 30 min trip we were in Nara. Like Koyo had a good mix of modern and ancient as old style houses mixed with new and there were gardens, shrines and temples down unsuspecting backroads. This time however we had wheels.  So we got lost at a faster rate than normal! After biking around half of Nara Seph's patience began to wear thin as my exploratory motives kicked in as he raced from one thing to the next and I would bike slowly behind him looking at everything, ducking down sidestreets taking photos. The words 'Just one more shrine will come back to haunt him' Finally we reached our ultimate goal. The Giant Buddah that stood (or sat if you want to get technical). The thing is housed in a enormous structure that is apparantly only 2/3 the size of its former glory. It was burnt down perviously like most things in Japan are, Seph likes reminding me of that. When I make an empire fire will be banned upon penalty of death.  I even found a few Kendo stores and they were quite interested to hear about the health of the sport in Australia which compared to Japan is its flatlining.  Sad, very sad. 


Yes we did in fact ride bikes, outside even!

Eventually we hit the highest point in Nara after many, many steps.  I think my offical stepcounter broke during my time here. It held for some amazing views and then the mad scramble to get the bikes back before the rental place shut which resulted in Blake re-enacting our journey to Asuka's on that cold first night, except he had wheels this time!  In which we went through the other half of Nara. Also I got mauled by a herd of deer but that part isn't really as exciting as it sounds、I saw a little Japanese boy disappear whole his mother was quite worried. Turns out they were after the bread and not human flesh as I had surmised.  So now here I sit typing this to you while trying to explain to the staff here all I want to do is hook up my camera using a usb cable. The joys of the language barrier.  How do you mime Universal Serial Port?

So I'll hand it over to Shogun Seph whose wise words will follow as well as the statement 'my head-aru!' 

*Shogun Seph's wise words of the day: A rolling burger gathers not at Mos*

~Rion

7:02pm: There go my male nudity tabboos!
Les has covered most things, so I thought I would elaborate on the whole Onsen thing. For the first few days I was using a small cramped bathroom the size of some Western toilets to shower/bathe and brush my teeth in. I know now that I was being gypped.

The night before I went out to hit the bars of Tokyo, I had a short conversation in the lift with a Japanese guy. He was wearing a Yukata and recommended that I try the hotsprings out. A day later Les was using the shower to deal with some `chaffing` (I don`t want to know), so I figured I would head down to the Hot Springs in his absence. After a bit of wandering I found the place, and figured the worst that could happen to me was that my naked corpse would be dumped in the nuclear disposal facility next to the hotel.

The lobby of the Hotspring had a lot of baskets where you can leave your belongings and undress, as well as some sinks in which you can shave and brush your teeth. Once inside, you sit down on one of the chairs provided and wash yourself under the shower with soap and shampoo. Once you are clean, you ease yourself into the communal bath, which is H-O-T. It`s also filled with various mineral salts to help cleanse the body. At this point you sit back and relax until you get a nice red-lobster look going all over. At this point there you hop out of the bath, head back into the lobby, dry yourself and get dressed.

In the waiting room an old man tried to explain to me how the whole system worked, but I pretty much got things right the first time. I also had to share the bath with several other guys, which wasn`t as bad as it could have been. It was like a men`s urinal- No one looks at each other once inside, no one talks to each other until they get out into the change room

There are no pictures for obvious reasons :P

Seph Khan

8:46pm: Legend　０f　KyotoーThe grip　オfテェKanji keyboard
Greetings all once again.　　I would have posted sooner but we have had issues accessing the interweb. So for the duration of this post there will be not pictures alas, but you can read the text and smile. I speak to you from our Ryokan in Kyoto which has a free 20m service but the characters ｹｴpﾁｬﾆﾝgﾄｶﾝｼﾞ!

～Rion

7:43pm: So many maids. So much laundry...
Word;

Well, Les and I have met up in Tokyo. He hasn't killed me yet, but he didn't get any sleep on the Qantas flight over, so I guess his heart and soul really isn't into murder at the moment.

Last night was pretty good, by which I mean I got very merry, met a few people (all from California!) and wound up watching the Manchester United/Liverpool match at an UK/Irish pub, surrounded by Englishmen and their bemused Japanese girlfriends. I was accosted several times by Samoans trying to get me to go to their topless bar, but I got away with my morals and wallet intact

Anyway, this morning I stumbled out onto the street, hungover and in search of a vending machine selling orange juice. Les happened to chose this time to come around the corner, thus beginning our unholy alliance to shake this country to it's knees.

After he had settled in, we went to Akiharaba to look at some very expensive toys. There was a life size statue of Rei Ayanami and Pen Pen at one of the figurine shops we went to, but I decided not to steal it. I really didn't want to have to explain to customs why I was importing a life size replica of a penguin into Australia.



SEPH WANT!

On the way back to the station we ran into a man playing the Taiko drums game outside a videogame arcade. There was a large crowd gathered around to watch him for two reasons- 1.) He was hitting every note perfectly and 2.) He was doing it blindfolded. God knows what would happen if this man ever applied himself to something more sinister

Outside the JR Akiharaba station we ran into an event I hear-by dub "The Million Maid March." There was not a million of them (alas), but 8 girls dressed up as identical maids, doing a little routine with microphones. At first I thought they were advertising something until they burst into song. They also had a large crowd gathered around them, including one nutter in blue who would jump and cheer at anything any of them said. Some upcoming Jpop band? Either way, I still think the whole situation was fucked up in a way you can only find in Japan or anime.



MAIDS: ONE OF JAPANESE MEN'S MANY WEIRD, WEIRD OBSESSIONS

The rest of the day involved as taking the "graveyard tour of Tokyo" from the Imperial Palace to Tokyo Tower, a 3km trek that wound up being something like 6 km with all the detours we took. I would talk about this more, but I'll leave that to Les to fill in.



TSUKETE! I'M STUCK IN A EIFFEL TOWER REPLICA WITH A MANIAC

I will conclude by saying that whatever disparaging things he says about me in his blog posts are filthy, filthy lies :-)

~Seph Khan
19/02/06

7:25pm: Tokyo is as long as it is wide..

The saga continues in...

EPISODE 1 - "The quest for the Tokyo Tower/Godzilla watch"

'In this episode our two heros combine their forces like some unholy captain planet and begin their journey they have waited so many years to make. They should have stayed home.'

It was an innocent enough start to the day.  I had touched down and found my way through the spiderweb like array of rail-lines and stations to my stop.  All using the limited Japanese I had at my disposal.  My newest freind was the station guard Hiro who took a shine to me as I quietly sat down and read my assigned train manual, assisting passengers when needed.  Personally I think Hiro thought I was out to steal his job but hid it behind the docile mask of Japanese hospitality.  It was good to start out on the right foot with the authorities I thought after learning of the 21 holding period for foreigners.

Japan's Most Wanted soon to feature 2 Gaigin


During my 15 minute walk form the station I encountered no less than 5 vending machines all sporting the massive 'super coke' as I call it.  A 500ml can that costs about $1.50 Australian.  So the land had already impressed me with abundant and cheap accesses to the liquid ambrosia of choice.  It was consulting one of these machines I met my contact known as Seph Khan or 'Blake Wilson' to the uniniated.  I began with the structured code phrase of.  "Oi you, get over here!"

After the normal plesantries and sneaking into the room without the gaze of the concierge noticeing I made myself comfortable in the small living space made available to us.  The bathroom almost makes a port a potty look spacious I feel.  Seph later told me he had an innate fear of the loo as all the special dials and buttons looked like they gave the toilet the ability to rip his nads off.  He is a wuss.

Following this we made our way for the city.  Moving through several suburbs on our way to the focus point of the day.  The Imperial Palace.  It was a magestic site (we had several discussions that it could have benefited from some machine gun emplacements and rocket installatons).  Of course the giant doors also worked too.. (Stay tuned for my episode with the doors of the imperial palace in the OAV's).


This is ancient Japan security or in other words A BIG FREAKEN DOOR!

Then we saw it... well actually we had seen 2 others that day before it and though it was the one but this time we saw it.  TOKYO TOWER!  It called to us like a shining beacon through the smog and so we headed towards it like lsd addict towards shiney tinfoil.  Little did we know that Tokyo Tower is BIG, REALLY, REALLY BIG.  So we could see it from a long way away.  Block after block passed.  We had been walking for hours without rest of food but stopping at every oppertunity to look at something cool like this shrine (photos attached).  After racing and failing to get to the stop we found lo and behold this shrine (also being the highest natural portion of Tokyo) had its own group of vending machines.  Huzzah's were said all around after the catching of the breath.

 
You know what, lets RACE up the stairs.  It'll be fun!  My heart just stopped!


 
I however feel great.  And what better way to celebrate than with shrine vending... vendalicious.

After wishing I had a slinky for the journey back down we arrived at the newest goal of the day.  The Tower itself.  Ascending over 150m into the air we saw some of the best sites Tokyo had to offer (once the smog cleared).  But again we decided to make sure there was no giant lizards out on the horizon (another feature coming in the OAV's) having satisfied that the city was safe for another night we headed back down.  After deciding to tempt fate in a glass portion of the floor.  Fate sided with me this time...


I trust Japanese engineering.  Trust it with my life.

Which brings us to here and the onsen action that awaits (Thats a H OAV, no kiddies allowed).  Stay tuned for episode 3 "Legend of Kyoto".

~Rion

5:33pm: Vending machines... everywhere
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have managed to survive in Tokyo for more than 24 hours now. I'm now in a place called Roppongi at the Manga Cafe Hirobi. It is cold outside- probably around 8 degrees centigrade

MY INITIAL IMPRESSIONS

Tokyo is cramped, but nowhere near as cramped as Hong Kong. The buildings here are wide and tall, whereas in Hong Kong they build only straight up.

My hotel room is the size of the bed I slept in at the resort in Hong Kong. It overlooks a street and the garbage dumpsters from the hotel. They gave me a Yukata, but I'm not going to embarrass myself and actually wear it unless Les makes me.

I have not been crushed by a giant radioactive lizard. Yet.

I know a lot less Japanese than I thought I did. When I begin a painfully crafted sentence, the person normally replies in American accented English. When I speak in English, I get a string of indecipherable Japanese

Yebisu Beer For the Win!

~Seph Khan
Roppongi Tokyo
18 February, 2006 anno domini

10:40pm: Prologue
Hello everyone, Rion here. Known in daylight hours as Leslie Robb or Les Robbs whatever your preferance.

Over the coming 2 weeks we will tell a tale here, a tale of mirth and woe. A tale of a drunk and a psycopath makign their way through the country of their dreams. What will they find there? Fame? Fortune? A small jailcell? Only time and a court hearing will tell.

Tune in every day or so for a new tale or episode as we'll be calling them. Pictures where appropriate will also be provided. I only hope you enjoy reading this as much as we will enjoy doing it. You will be able to tell the difference between myself and my compatriot through the use use of our signatures. Or we might do a team version and you'll just be so confused.

NEXT EPISODE!

Rion touches down at Narita and argues with customs over what indigenous flora constitues. After a lengthy process in isolation he is released onto the streets dazed and bewildered as all his learning of the local language comes from a book. Follow his lengthy trek in the urban jungle to his rendeverous with destiny.

The country will never be same again in the first installment of the Vegimite Shogunate: "A Shogunate to last 1000 hours"

~Rion

11:25pm: Testing, testing... 1 2 3...
Hello?

Is this thing on?

I've never been good with keeping journals or diaries. As a kid, I was always terrified that someone other than me would read them and gain access to my innermost dreams and thoughts. I'm justifying writing this as more of a big open-postcard for my friends and family

I have just over a month to go until I leave to Japan, but I've already started preparing. I spent most of last week booking accommodation and phrasebooks. I'm looking into getting some skiing clothes, but that's going to be pretty hard for someone who lives several thousand kilometres away from the nearest snow field. Hopefully I'll have some luck in HK, where it is at least winter, if not snowing.

~Seph